My Partner Has Asked Me To Be A Swinger. What I Do?

2023 Author: Leslie Forster | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-20 16:12

Swinger or swinging: Term also known as partner swapping. This practice followed by heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual men and women invites a third or even a fourth person to have sex with one or both members of an already consolidated couple individually. If your partner proposes it to you, why does she ask you for something like this?

"They are afraid of a deep emotional relationship", that is the reason that leads your partner to ask you to get out of the routine with a swinger, assured the psychologist and sexologist Esteban Cañamares to EFE Salud. According to their experience, the couples who carry out this practice are usually married couples or boyfriends who pretend to be more “roommates”.

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The one who proposes you to get into bed with a third person is the one who needs to have one foot in and the other out of the relationship, they are not capable of maintaining an emotional commitment and it usually occurs in people who in childhood were mistreated by their parents, the specialist expanded.

If your boy / girl is one of them, it is because he / she may not believe 100% in you, he / she fears that you will betray him / her, that you attack him / her … Okay, well, he / she invests most of the time in you, but he / she needs to have someone reserve “for that”.

Would you be willing to fulfill your sexual fantasy?

It all depends on a mutual agreement. No one can be forced to do something they don't feel like, much less in bed. Something forced works like an immediate killing spree.

"Men are almost always the ones who drag women into this type of relationship, but they end up being as addicted as they are," said Cañamares. In as much it added: "The psychological damages are enormous when one of the two does not agree with the game and suffers in a forced way because she does not dare to say 'no more'. Or even before you swinger, don't stop. It only works if it excites both of them.”

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If I say "yes", what rules should I put?

The renowned sexologist Alesandra Rampolla proposes some obviously obligatory rules if you decide to say "yes" to doing a swinger.

1. COMMUNICATION

Although both are willing to renew and add emotion to the relationship, starting with great enthusiasm does not ensure that they are made to endure it. Maybe when one is starting to have a great time with the other, jealousy will invade him and he will begin to suffer. It is there when jealousy, resentment and in itself the couple's relationship begins to be jeopardized. If you don't express your feelings, it will all be over soon.

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2. AGREEMENTS

Forget that there are recipes. Only an open mind will allow them to reach agreements. A swinger relationship also applies to have sex with a third person alone; that is, without your partner being present. If they decide to do so, there should be rules such as: not having sex more than once with the same person, not involving feelings, going home after the meeting and avoiding jealousy. Could you accept it?

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3. SAFE SEX

It's basic! Having more than one lover exposes both to contracting sexually transmitted diseases if they do not use protection. Much less will they want to risk an unwanted pregnancy. For a while of pleasure it is not worth embittering your whole life.