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Video: Take A "break" In The Relationship? Yes Or No?
"We are giving ourselves time," you say when you break up with your boy or decide to break. Is it useful or not?
Taking time is the equivalent of putting your relationship in “hospitalization”, it requires in-depth treatment or even an operation and there is always the possibility that someone will leave the crew, although during those days in the hospital you wait, and He too, that everything improves. According to experts, men are more reluctant to this type of decision because it is women who suggest it more often.
"They tend to think that this pause is nothing but the prelude to the breakup and they don't see much use in it. Women, however, are accustomed from a young age to talk about their feelings, they will mobilize their social network of support, they begin to think about the problem and look for solutions. Men, mainly middle-aged men, talk to friends, but they never seem vulnerable, which prevents them from getting to the bottom of the occasion,”explained Iván Rotella, sexologist, couples therapist to El País.
The expert is clear that: “In any case, if the situation is serious, the help of a professional is recommended because it is easy for you or him to have a partial and personal vision of the problem and by themselves unable to see the perspective. of the other. Of course, in this couples therapy both should go to the consultation, "he added.
For his part, Iván Rostella added that the secret of a harmonious coexistence is in not forgetting that both are independent beings and that to get along with your partner you first have to do it with yourself. This means that you have to give yourself time and not plan everything together. Do things alone, with your friends because this avoids that overdose and soreness that leads them to that need for fasting.
When women ask for a break
1. When the lawsuits do not end: Communication is vital in any relationship. If yours is failing because you notice that discussions are daily bread, perhaps it is time to take time to think and understand the dimension of what is happening. Or, go to couples therapy to try to find a way to fix their differences.
2. Do not forgive sincerely: If he was unfaithful to you and you say you forgive them, but from the mouth out and not from the heart. Or, the one that failed was you and so far your boy has not managed to overcome that episode. He doesn't trust you!
3. Zero sex: Sex is not everything, but it is a basic need because it is a moment of connection and not even what is said to release endorphins, hormones related to taking away your stress and responsible for improving your self-esteem. If before they were wonderful in bed, and now with costs and he kisses you good night, you have realized that he is distant, in a bad mood … talk to him.
4. There is no time for two: At the beginning everything seems fairy tale, they spend quality time; However, once your relationship progressed, they stopped spending time together to do their own part. You have two ways, to separate with a return date or to put the cards on the table to find out what's going on.
Now, this break brings its consequences. We tell you so that you are ready:
9 "crazy" things a man does when he breaks up with his partner
-Open doors for communication problems to increase because that pause is supposed to mean zero physical contact, by WhatsApp and others. You will not have the opportunity to talk, solve and possibly you will enter doubts.
-It makes the breakup more painful because it creates a false hope for both of them that it will work, but if they have strong problems, they may not be compatible.
-The break does NOT solve anything, experts say. Ok, you ask him for a time, they both feel liberated in the moment, but with the days you realize that you miss him, he begins to send flowers, letters and text messages to ask to see you. Days later you will notice that with those separate days they did not solve anything. Give it only a few weeks and you will realize that they will return to the same thing, people do not change after a small breakup.
-You will resent your partner. If you were the one who asked for it or vice versa, you will feel confused and resentful. Why do you want or ask for a break? What is it not telling you?
-It's immature. If you don't see a future, why put it off? In this case it is not healthy that you go slowly, be an adult, identify your emotions, what you want and make a decision.
-If you ask for time, you may not be interested in that chic or. Your relationship is not like video games, which you pause and then continue playing.
In that time, whether or not to have sex
The specialists are clear and say that if the couple had a break, but they still have sex, it is a good prognosis because it means that there is still attraction and that despite the problems there is a solution. Lack of desire is a bigger problem.